The Otakrew in FFVIII!
by Oni-Rayl
Summary: It's me (Rayl) and the Otakrew in Final Fantasy VIII! Cameos from Friends and other random people are included! LET THE RANDOM STUFF BEGIN! R&R if you wish
1. Default Chapter

The Otakrew in FFVIII!  
  
Disclamier: I don't own FF8 or any of the characters. However i do own my friends (The Otakrew) Oh yes I OWN THEM NOW! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
Rayl: I have decided after playing Final Fantasy VIII again that I shall write this fic!  
  
Rix: Copycat.  
  
Rayl: Shut up.  
  
Casting:  
  
Raz3r: Dibs on Irvine! In the manual it says that Irvine is an expert gunman and consummate lady's man. How spot on can you get!   
  
Rayl: How predictable! I'll be Squall then.  
  
Rix: Now who's being predictable.  
  
Rayl: Well then who are you going to pick it wouldn't be Seifer would it?  
  
Rix: ...   
  
Rayl: As I thought. What about you Lev?  
  
Levericon: I'll be Rinoa!  
  
Rayl: THE HELL YOU WILL!  
  
Levericon: Quistis?  
  
Rayl: NO!  
  
Levericon: How about a chocobo?  
  
Rayl: Although I'm tempted... NO!  
  
Levericon: Laguna?  
  
Rayl: That part's been taken.  
  
Levericon: What? But the casting just started!  
  
Rayl: Does it look like I care.  
  
Levericon: What about Cid?  
  
Rix: Sorry Lev I just gave that part away.  
  
Rayl: Look if you can't decide then I'll cast you as Selphie!  
  
Levericon: SELPHIE! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Rayl: Well it's either her or... ZELL!  
  
Levericon: AHHHHH!!!!! NO!!!!  
  
Rayl: Look the choice is simple either get called a chicken-wuss by Rix or Raz3r tries to kiss you for the majority of the game.  
  
Levericon: He wouldn't!  
  
Rayl: Raz3r!  
  
Raz3r: Will he be wearing lipstick?  
  
Rayl: Yes.  
  
Raz3r: (Stares at Levericon in a perverted way) I'LL DO IT!  
  
Levericon: ... You sicken me.  
  
Raz3r: I'll do anything for a cheap laugh.  
  
Levericon: I'll take Zell.  
  
Rayl: Wise choice.  
  
Rix: Bloody hell now who are we going to get to show interest in him (Points in Raz3r's direction)  
  
Rayl: I have someone in mind MMMMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!  
  
Rix: Why are laughing?  
  
Rayl: No reason.  
  
Rix: Oh.  
  
Two weeks later  
  
Rayl: There the castings done now the show may start!  
  
Everyone: Hurrah!  
  
Levericon: Yeah big whoop.  
  
Rix's Thoughts: What's Monkey Island got to do with anything?  
  
The Fic Begins...  
  
Rayl: Okay people let's get on with the intro.  
  
Everyone: NOOOOO!!!  
  
Rayl: Okay we'll skip the intro it's long winded anyway.  
  
Rix: What?!?! But I was looking forward to that!!  
  
Rayl: Your blade can't cut me anyway so what's the point?  
  
Rix: Grr.  
  
Rayl: Okay places people!  
  
Everyone goes to where there supposed to go.  
  
Rayl runs on set.  
  
Rayl: LET'S ROCK AND ROLL!  
  
THE OTAKREW IN FINAL FANTASY VIII!  
  
Rayl opens his eyes, sits up and takes a look around.  
  
Rayl's Thoughts: What? The infirmary! What the hell am i doing here? Ahhh! My head! How much did i drink last night!  
  
The door opens and a large man with a beard that screams "HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!" walks through the door.  
  
Dr.Light: Well Rayl how are we feeling?  
  
Rayl: I don't know about we but i feel... like shit.  
  
Rix: WHAT THE FU... YOU CASTED HIM!!  
  
Rayl: Shut up Rix my headache is real you know.  
  
Dr.Light: You have a headache? Well that's not surprising you drank so much last night that and Rix gave you a scar when he was playing Darts Blindfolded.  
  
Rayl: WHAT!!! A scar! THAT... THAT PRICK!!! Where is it.  
  
Dr.Light: What the scar? Right across you head.  
  
Light hands Rayl a mirror. Rayl's eyes blast open when he sees what Rix did to his face.  
  
Rayl: Light would you please leave the room.  
  
Dr. Light: Yes but why.  
  
Rayl's eyes glow white.  
  
Dr.Light: (Backs off) Okay.  
  
Rayl takes a deep breath.  
  
Rayl: F...  
  
Meanwhile god knows how far away.  
  
Prof.Cheech: Vot zee hell vas that?   
  
In another time.  
  
Sephiroth: Kurse all Seeds! Zey make me vant to kompress time!   
  
Back to the garden.  
  
Rayl: There much better. 


	2. Chapter 2

VS.The Spider Of DOOOOOOOM!  
  
A/N: I don't own FF8 or any of the characters... I'm too lazy to earn enough money to buy them.  
  
Our Heroes are leaving the Dollet Radio Tower.  
  
Rayl: Ha! They were all wimps! Weren't they Beebo!  
  
Beebo: Meow  
  
VegetaGirl: Why on earth did you bring that cat with you?  
  
Rayl: I have no idea... he seems to be a good luck charm.  
  
Everybody looks at Beebo who is smoking.  
  
VegetaGirl: ... The cat... is smoking.   
  
Lev: And he has facial hair.  
  
Harry: Hey beebo! How's it hanging?  
  
Beebo: Meow.  
  
Harry: Hey what are you doin!  
  
Beebo: Meow  
  
Harry: Bullshit you're smokin!  
  
Beebo: Meow  
  
Harry: No! I'll kick your ass!  
  
Harry and Beebo launch themselves at each other but just before they can fight a dark shadow lands on them.  
  
Everyone: HOLY SHIT!  
  
Spider: D...E...S...T...R...O...Y!  
  
Rayl: OH MY GOD! HE'S WORSE THAN THAT SMITH GUY!  
  
Spider: Hey i'm trying to act evil here!  
  
Rayl: That voice... ha! YOu always were bad at the whole evil thing.  
  
Spider: WHAT!? ... Rayl!  
  
Rayl: Okay Sigma this your new battlebody  
  
Sigma: Of course you stupid english prick!  
  
Rayl sheds a tear for he knows Sigma speaks the truth. But Rayl comes back with the ULTIMATE COUNTER INSULT.   
  
Rayl: YO CREATOR!  
  
Sigma: WHAT! YOU ARSEHOLE!  
  
Rayl: Ha! FEEL THE FURY OF THE ULTIMATE COUNTER INSULT! How does it feel to be beaten Sigma?  
  
Sigma: YOU SHALL ADDRESS ME BY MY FULL NAME!  
  
Rayl: Which is?  
  
Sigma: You're the MegaMan fan you english toad!  
  
Rayl:!?!?!?  
  
Rayl's Thoughts: English toad... Okay that's just plain rude... Raz3r maybe but not me.  
  
Sigma: My true name is more horrible than you can imagine!  
  
lev: Eep!  
  
Sigma: MY TRUE NAME IS...  
  
Everyone: The... tension... so... high  
  
Sigma: SIGMA... OMEGA... DELTA!  
  
Everybody: ... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Sigma: What!? What are you doing! Hey stop laughing! STOP IT NOW! WHAT'S SO FUNNY!  
  
Rix: (appers out of nowhere) S.O.D! SOD! You're name is SOD! HAHAHAHA!  
  
S.O.D: What the fu... YOU DARE TO MAKE FUN OF MY NAME!  
  
Rayl: (Crying) It's so funny though.  
  
S.O.D: (Turns red) DIIIIIIE!  
  
S.O.D starts chasing them aroung dollet. of course the Benny Hill Music starts playing.  
  
S.O.D: I'LL KILL YOU ALL!  
  
Rayl: Keep running you SOD!  
  
lev & VG: (While laughing) Stop it Rayl you're going to make him angry  
  
Rayl: Fun ain't it.  
  
Lev: Very much so.  
  
They run for a short while but when they check where they are they aren't in Dollet anymore!  
  
Rayl: Grass... Robots... Loop de loops... Rings... OH MY GOD WE'RE IN A SONIC GAME! (looks at himself) WE'RE 2-D!  
  
Lev & VG: NOOOOOOOO!  
  
S,O.D: *Is 2-D also* Finally my enviroment!  
  
VG: IT'S THE SOD!  
  
S.O.D: SHUT UP! JUST STOP CALLING ME THAT!  
  
S.O.D chases them around the Green Hill Zone to the Benny Hill music... again. Running through the loop de loops as the do so.  
  
Rayl: Yey! I got 50 rings! And there's the finish!  
  
VG: IT'S A GIANT GOLD RING!  
  
Lev: TO THE SPECIAL STAGE!  
  
Everybody jumps into the special stage including S.O.D  
  
S.O.D: STOP CALLING ME THAT!  
  
Author: SOD OFF SOD!   
  
Author's Thoughts: HAHA me witty.  
  
Rayl: ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!  
  
Author: I CAN MAKE YOU RAZIEL... RAYL AND I CAN UNMAKE YOU!  
  
Rayl: Save your speechs for someone who cares! I am more than you.  
  
Author: Despair Raziel.... Rayl. You shall never be more than I!  
  
Meanwhile back ON the story.  
  
Rayl/VG/Lev: WE GOT A CHAOS EMERALD!  
  
Author: I MEANT THE FF8 STORY!  
  
Lev: Oh sorry  
  
Author: ON WITH THE STORY!  
  
Rayl: NOOOOOOW!   
  
The heroes get to the beach but Rayl is about to get squashed by the S.O.D!  
  
Rayl: AHHHH! NO NOT THAT ANYTHING BUT THAT!  
  
Sure enough S.O.D is chasing Rayl with the authors original fanfictions  
  
Rayl: NOOOOOOO!  
  
Damonen: TIME TO KICK SOME SOD ASS!  
  
Damonen fires the machine gun on the boat and all shots hit S.O.D  
  
S.O.D: I'll be back... I ALWAYS AM!  
  
And with that S.O.D explodes  
  
Rayl: I was gonna say something like "HOLY SOD!" or something like that but why bother.  
  
And with that the SEED boat rushes away. 


	3. Chapter 3

Rayl, LEv and VegetaGirl become SEEDS!  
  
A/N: I don't own blah blah FF8 blah blah blah.  
  
Tetsuo13: First of all, congratulations. However... From now on, as a member of SeeD, you will be dispatched all over the world. We are  
  
proud to introduce SeeD. Balamb Garden's mercenary soldiers. SeeD  
  
soldiers are combat specialists. BUT... That is only one aspect of SeeD.  
  
When the time comes...  
  
Garden Faculty: Headmaster... It's almost time for the meeting. Please  
  
make this short. SeeD is a valuable asset to Garden. It's reputation is  
  
solely dependant on each one of you. Handle your mission with care. (to  
  
Headmaster 13) Is that what you wanted to say, sir?   
  
Tetsuo13: (Eye twitching) You... HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT ME!!! YOU LOW LIFE SCUM BAG!!!  
  
Garden Faculty: S.. sorry s.. sir  
  
Tetsuo13: For that YOU give them their SEED Rank reports!   
  
Headmaster Tetsuo13: (to VegetaGirl as the report is given to her) YOU HAVE A NICE ASS! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! (She hits him) AHHHHH!!!!  
  
(To the other student as the report is given to him) YOU ARE THE WORST SEED MEMBER EVER! THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE HERE IS SO I CAN LAUGH AT YOU!  
  
(To Lev as the report is given to him) Your stats are good (Lev smiles) BUT MINE ARE BETTER (13 flicks him on the nose inflicting 5000 damage) HAHAHAHAHA! (To Rayl as his report is given to him) Your hair... it scares me.  
  
Rayl: Not as much as your hair scares me you bastard!  
  
Tetsuo13: You annoy me Rayl  
  
Rayl: Sir.. What is SEED?  
  
Tetsuo13: SEED are Balamb Garden's mercenary soldiers.  
  
Rayl: But that's only one aspect! Tell me what SEED really is!  
  
Tetsuo13: I will try to tell you... ok it's like this Ergo concordenly vis-à-vis you know what? I have no idea what i'm talking about it makes me sound cool though.  
  
Rayl: THAT'S BULLSHIT!!  
  
Tetsuo13: Watch the sass Captain-sassy-pants!   
  
Rayl: You didn't answer my question.  
  
Tetsuo13: I will you see...  
  
Rayl: You didn't answer my question.  
  
Tetsuo13: I'm trying you just need to let me talk!  
  
Rayl: Why am i a SEED?  
  
Tetsuo13: Uhhgghh would you shut up!  
  
Rayl: You won't let it...  
  
Tetsuo13: NO! YOU WON'T LET IT!!! I'M THE ONE WHO TALKS! OK MOUTH SHUT! EARS OPEN!!  
  
Rayl: You didn't answer my...  
  
Tetsuo13: YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE ME GET OUT OF THIS CHAIR!!! (Everyone jumps) IF YOU OPEN YOUR YAPPER ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA SEED YOUR CANDY-ASS!!! (VG laughs) ERGO!! VIS-A-VIS!  
  
Rayl: You didn't answer my...  
  
Tetsuo13: CONCORDENLY!!! (Breathes in) Sorry VegetaGirl i don't usually like to use my big voice.  
  
VegetaGirl: That's okay. Err... can i go now.  
  
Tetsuo13: Okay the door on your left...  
  
Rayl: ENOUGH WITH THE MATRIX CRAP!!!  
  
Tetsuo13: Why did you just say that (Gets out of his chair)  
  
Rayl: Awww crap  
  
Tetsuo13: WHY DID YOU JUST SAY THAT!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Everyone runs away and although they are getting pelted by random objects they are proud to be SEEDS! 


	4. Chapter 4

Presidnet Smith's Speech  
  
A/N:I don't own anything i mentioned in the fic apart from the fic itself and any character that is an otakrew or friend of an otakrew.   
  
Announcer: Hello everyone can you see me! Can you hear me! Hmmm... News just in! Monkeys are coming out of my butt! (Laughter can be heard from every direction) Good you can hear me! Anyway it's time for a public service announcement brought to you by the Galabadia's own President Smith!  
  
Smith: Hello people of the world i am agent... err i mean President Smith.  
  
Announcer: (Taps his watch)  
  
Smith: Fine then i'll talk normally! I am talking to you today to offer peace to the world.  
  
VegetaGirl: See i told you it was about peace  
  
Rix's Far off voice: DON'T BE SO DAMNED STUPID!!!  
  
Smith: Unfortunately, there are some trifling problems  
  
standing between Galbadia and other nations, and they must be resolved. I mean the other nations aren't using Microsoft!  
  
All of a sudden Smith's voice becomes very dark  
  
Smith: YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!!  
  
Smith returns to normal  
  
Smith: Sorry about that. Anyway i want at this time to introduce the ambassador who will be my representative for the  
  
conference.  
  
Lev: Man! All this just to introduce an ambassador.  
  
Smith: The ambassador is the Sorceress!  
  
Sephiroth inhabiting Yuna: DON'T CALL ME THAT YOU PRICK!!!  
  
Smith: But Sorceress are woman and you are a woman.  
  
Sephiroth inhabiting Yuna: IF YOU CALL ME A WOMAN AGAIN I WON'T COMPRESS TIME I'LL COMPRESS YOU!!!   
  
Raz3r: OOOOOOO ME! COMPRESS ME WITH YOU BODY!!!  
  
Rayl hits Raz3r right in the jaw sending him flying off stage  
  
Raz3r: AHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Rayl: Save the crap jokes for someone who likes them!  
  
Rix: TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE!!  
  
Rayl: Shaddap. 


End file.
